Monthly Archives: November 2011

On The Book Series I Am Gonna Write

Now I am not going to give away the entire plot devises that I have come up with but I am going to write and then hope to publish a series of murder mysteries set here in Denver, Colorado. I am going to go through the titles though:

The Mile High Murders: The Colfax Killer
The Mile High Murders: The Broadway Butcher
The Mile High Murders: The Santa Fe Strangler

I am doing all the research for this series as I type looking into the various things I need to learn about. To name a few Serial Killers, the hunters of said killers, what part the FBI plays in all of this and being I am going to set the first story in 1996 what was Denver like when I first got here and what forensics where available at that time as well. I am going to try and set each story in a two year window so that it leaves me plenty of time to get to present day Denver. Wow that was one long ass sentence, C’est la vie it happens.

Now there are many things that I need to explore here and one of those will be where is the best place to write and I am thinking where I am sitting right now may in fact be that place. I am at a little café called Dazbog here in Downtown Denver and there is another one up on 12th and Downing that I have been to as well. I am not going to go to my usual haunt until Christmas is over being Solid Grounds is playing that vile Xmas music now and this joint has classic rock on so yeah this will work just fine for me.

I have been writing most of my life and I just spoke to a total stranger about a book he was reading and he asked me if I was writer and I said yeah but very unpublished. I asked him how he gleaned that from what I had originally asked and he said I was way to articulate with my speech to just be someone that reads a lot. I was a bit taken back by that but we talked for a little while longer then I went about my way to return something then get some coffee.

He did mention that he had a few friends that are trying to break into acting and they have had as many rejections as I have over the years so I did feel a little better about my failures. I am aware that most of getting published is timing but there has to be some degree of skill as well but having looked at the Twilight series maybe it’s all timing and not talent but I digress. I am going to be writing another short story for The First Line that has already rejected me once but I will not stop until I am published there. That is something that I know is a fact of life as a writer I need to be very persistent or I will not obtain my goal of being published.

I have been at this writing thing for well over twenty years now and the biggest problem that I have is that I cannot eer seem to write a whole book losing steam around page 70 or so. This needs to change if I am going to write The Mile high Murders or I am doomed to another unfinished book. I think this is the curse of most writers though, we have a brilliant idea and we go and try to write it but we all hit that virtual brick wall in our heads and we stall and never finish the story. This has been a niggling little problem of mine for all these years that I have been writing so I started to write short stories and essays and as of now they are also unpublished as are my poems but I am not going to just give up and hide my head in the sand I am going to fight until I someone takes what I write and puts it in a book for me.
Speaking of writing I am using WordPerfect 2002 (version 10) under an XP SP3 emulation and I love it to pieces. I think one of the things that makes this so great for me is I started to use it way back in 5.3 land on DOS and never really wanted anything else but it was not until Windows 7 that the emulation was good enough to install and run it in a stable environment so here I am back in my old friend writing everything. I am happy that I am able to write this outside the house and now that I can I will explore places where I feel a comfort level to do the actual writing. Well that is all I have to say for now so happy blogging everyone….



The problem with censorship is that it kills ideas some good and yes some bad as well. The Nazi’s that are in fact responsible for the Holocaust used censorship of books that they deemed Un-German by burning these books to control an entire Populus. With the advent of The SOPA Act that congress is trying to pass this may actually become a reality for all of us in America. The original intent of this bill which I am not against is to stop the illegal downloading of copyrighted materials off the Internet; however I feel that this bill will be abused like so many bills are in the name of what the powers that be believes is right and wholesome.

Let’s look at some of the things that may also occur if this bill is passed under the general assumption that it will be black and white and not have any grey areas. The Nostalgia Critic ( does reviews of things from yesteryear of his childhood and he avidly uses clips from these movies and television shows during the video review but he does not have the permission to use these clips. (I am not saying he does not nor am I saying he does for I am not able to verify this fact; this is just an example that is a pure fabrication of fiction for the purposes of this blog so please Doug don’t shoot me I just happen to like you a lot so I am picking on you.) Now under The SOPA Act his entire website and livelihood that he has been doing for well over three years will come to an abrupt end because he is showing but not distributing or allowing anyone to download copyrighted material. I feel that this possible scenario would not only be a tragic loss to all of us fans but it would also push this bill into the realm of hogwash.

Again I need to state the original intent of this asinine bill: To protect copyrighted material from being distributed over the Internet. Again I state that I am not against this bill as it stands but I am leery that it will start to remove all copyrighted material from the net regardless of why it is there. I do not see, view or really understand how The Nostalgia Critic is doing anything wrong being he is not allowing anyone to download the material that he makes quite hysterical every week but under SOPA he might just become one of the thousands of innocent sites to be blacklisted.

What does blacklisted mean? This means that the site in question will no longer show up on any search engines and it will be blocked at the ISP level under their firewall or censorship machine. What this action is going to do is open up a tidal wave of sites being blacklisted because the government does not feel that we need to be able to view it and they will most surly state that The Patriot Act is why the removed this or that site. Now the first glaring problem with this bill is it should have been passed when Napster was taken to court in early 2001 so this bill is in affect over a decade too late. What the government needed to do in February 2001 was to pass a bill like this to cut the head off the snake before it grew into the gothic thing that it is now. If they had passed a bill of this sort back then it would have been firmly in place before The Patriot Act was passed so it would have had no jurisdiction over The SOPA Act but now it will and this is where the real problem lies.

I am going to go on the record that this entire blog is speculation and I am not in a position to state any of my ideas as facts and I will not until this bill is passed and then enforced. I am not going to mince words here though: I see this as becoming a reality and maybe even more severe then I have discussed here. What can you do? Please go to and sign the petition, join my Facebook group End SOPA Now! and have a voice and get everyone that you know involved as well, stand up to censorship and tell your local representatives that this is unacceptable because if they can censor the Internet the next step could be to remove the same information from publically funded libraries and then of course from bookstores. This is just the course that this entire bill can take if it is not absolute in its intent and if they allow other bills to muddle it up or even worse they pass an earmark and change it without our knowledge.

In the past the best way to control us here in America was to keep us ignorant but with the advent of the Internet we are less unknowing as we used to be so then they went with fear or as one book is titled “The Shock Doctrine” as I call it. Well the fear isn’t working as well anymore so they are going back to the old stand by of keeping us all in the dark so we cannot make informed decisions. Things that you can do to combat this: Read your local paper or any newspaper daily (I read The New York Times on my Nook), read The Nation, do not rely on television news or the Internet for all your information. Learn the issues and decide on what action to take when you vote and not just some guess or just because they are this or that party. I am not a fan of Republicans nor have I ever voted for one but I am still following them on this campaign because maybe the eventual candidate may get my vote; highly unlikely but I cannot just shut them out just because they are Republicans. Just remember that it is impossible to graft a new idea on a closed mind so remain open and honest with yourself and lets all do our part to combat censorship on all levels.

Side Note: As soon as I can I will post page numbers, authors, publishers, Dewey Decimal Numbers, and ISBN numbers from books that state what our rights are under The First Amendment is on the Internet and so far all I can state as fact is Freedom Of The Press.

Fuck Censorship!

The Rejected Poem

I Think I Know You

I think I know you
You’re the one that betrayed me
You’re the one that lied to me
You’re the one that made me feel like shit
You’re the one that showed me how to hate
You’re the one that destroyed me
I think I know you
You stuck that cold steel to my temple
You told me the trigger has no heart
Yet the chamber was never emptied
You told me the pain would go away
Yet the trigger never moved
I think I know you
You filled me with fear
You filled me with dread
You filled me with shame
You filled me with anguish
I think I know you
You were on that bench in Seattle
You were under that bridge in San Francisco
You were on that grate in Denver
You were in that hole in Phoenix
You were in that shallow grave in Kansas
You were on that bus
You were on that train
You made me mean and callous
You made me bitter and angry
I think I know you
You lost who you were before it was found
You told me that being kicked around was better than being alone
You deceived me more and more every day
You told me that this powder was the answer
You told me that a rock is better
You told me to smoke it
You shut me off from the world
You infected me with your disease
You made me a slave
You told me to eat and eat and eat
You screamed I’ll show them
You perfected self-torture
I think I know you
You mangled my soul
You ripped my heart out
You told me you hated me
You caused all my misery
I think I know you
You said trust these people
You told me to ignore the abuse
You told me that I was worthless
You screamed you are a loser
You built this wall
You placed every last brick
Your fury is the mortar
You pushed everyone away
You refused to be loved
You cannot love
I think I know you
You sheltered me
You made me hide in shadows
You made me afraid of life
You made me run away
You forced me to find a way out
You made me numb the hurt
You promised to shoot me
You lied to me again
You barked and screamed at me
You pushed me into the mental wards
You raged at me when I was in the four points
You hate me
You love me
I think I know you
Every time I look in the mirror
I say I think I know you…

The Rejected Flash Fiction

It had been a long year. Not the longest in my life but a long year nonetheless since the burial of my little angel. I loved that boy like only another boy can love a boy and I miss him always but this is how life works sometimes. He was this cute little thing when we met and he grew into this lithe man over the years we knew each other. I remember all the shared dinners and talks we had and oh the cuddles at night were the absolute best.

My day would be centered around making him happy and that suited me just fine. I cannot remember how many times I went out to specialty stores just to get things to appease him and make him happy to my absolute delight over the years though. I guess those runs just became part of the ritual of the relationship as it were. My mother used to get on me about the money I would spend on him but he was my baby and the love of my life so he deserved it all in my opinion.

I guess the part of this last year that I hated the most was that empty space in the bed every night. I had grown so used to his warm body next to mine that when it was gone and not coming back I found it very hard to sleep. The cutest thing was when he was so dead to the world that I would hear these little muffled snores escaping from his nose; it would comfort me and guide me to the land of dreams once anew. Now I sleep at random times and not all that well with bad dreams and no lands I wish to see anymore.

I know he did not abandon me for even I know that life is progressive and fatal but I feel so alone and nothing can replace my baby now. I have read some books on the grieving process and I have even been to those support groups but they just don’t understand me I guess. I never made many friends in life so yeah he was my best friend and now he is gone. Good-bye Tiger my dear cat.

Who’s Right? No One!

There are things in this world that will forever perplex me like how wires that are not moving around tie themselves in knots but I digress. I feel that us humans have this major problem with always having to be right even though most of us myself included are for the most part wrong. This is a real issue when it comes to religion. I am a Muslim that does not practice the religious aspect of the faith and even I know that I might be dead wrong when I die I am just hoping that I am not. People get so convinced that they are right and everyone else is wrong that the commit murder to prove their point (Muslims and Christians mostly). These are things that I will never be able to comprehend as long as I live. How can a Christian just walk into a church and blow an abortion doctors brains out with a clear conscious? How can Muslims justify murdering people and sleep at night when the Qur’an says “Allah does not like aggressors”? How can these people sleep at night knowing that they are defiling the very word that they claim to believe?

I do not blame faith for these actions but rather I blame religion for this mess that has been created over the past two-thousand some years. I have always felt that religion is a man made bastardization of faith. People take parts of the Bible, Torah and Qur’an out of context and twist it to their own selfish needs. I have never understood how humans can take something that is completely absolute and muddle it all up with greys. Maybe this disbelief stems from my own inability to see grey in my life; just black and white. I am not really sure if this is why I see the holy books as absolute and not to be interpreted in any way other then what the words actually state. I have to gander that this is a human feature that we got when he were given free will though.

In all of humankind’s existence those that had power wanted to keep that power at all costs and this is the same reason some people become a crusader of their twisted religion. My mother asked me not to become an extremist when I converted to Islam and I have for the most part discarded the religious aspect of this faith and just prayed my way at my times. I have a real hard time believing that God is just up there to hear hourly prayers to him and nothing else. This is one of the things I did not like about the religious aspect of this faith. There are other things that just don’t make sense to me either but I just live my life and call myself a non-practicing Muslim. It is when people take things too seriously and out of context is when the blood starts to flow. The problem is extremism has been a part of the problem since the advent of religion outside of the Pagan’s. The Pagan’s actually do not have infighting or a need to prove that they are right and everyone else is dead wrong. Maybe in the end they are the ones that are right and that there are many gods not just one all powerful one. I will not state this is what I believe but it does have some merit in today’s violence strewn world.

Any does of fanaticism regardless of what one is fanatic about is bad for humanity on all levels. I do not like people that are hell bent on forcing others to see that they are right and all else are wrong being as I stated I am not even sure if I am right I just hope I am. I have no use for people that need to be right because only when we are wrong do we have the chance to learn from that mistake and teach others to not make the same one….