Sometimes being mentally ill just sucks because of the people one has to deal with for the proper medications. I was put on a 72-Hour hold for cracking a joke in poor taste for the place I was in but a joke nonetheless. The real problem wasn’t the Hold or the help it was the inability to monitor my own diabetes that was the real issue at hand. I was rendered unable to check my sugar or shoot any insulin for over 18 hours and that scared me to death. I was in such a full blown panic attack they actually called the police on me. This police officer then called my Insulin my security blanket wow that pissed me off. I then told him that he was a moron and that it is life or death for a diabetic not a security blanket like lip balm; this shut him up fast. I guess the fact is these people were under the impression that I was no longer able to take care of myself and that I was going to attempt suicide via insulin which is one painful way to go.
Mental Illness is silly to begin with being they are always looking for the better way to sedate me anyway. I have over the years realized that mood stabilizers are really just low dose tranquilizers under a new name anyway. I have been diagnosed for over half my life so really I know the score now. I know that un-medicated I am a bit nanners so I guess I have to take the help that I get in whatever form it is in. I guess being sick in the brain means one has to trade off unbridled freedom for some form of control to be able to function in society.
Thw ward its self wasn’t so bad and the food wasn’t horrible either. Other then the insulin issue the people were nice and very helpful to me. I spent most of the time with this girl Annie that was there due to a two week coma induced by an attempted suicide of hanging. I felt horrible when she told me but at the same time I saw this bright beautiful woman in her. I taught her how to play 5-card Gin and that is all we did for the next three days we were there. We talked about all sorts of things and I was always so happy to just be able to talk and look at her heavenly face. Annie was a real sweet thing that I just could not understand why she wanted to off herself and after three days I was just as perplexed as day one.
There were some other characters there as well but none really struck me like Annie did. There was this one guy Ronald that was so far gone that I am not sure the last time he saw reality. He was screaming this is “False Imprisonment and I am leaving right now watch me” all the time. He was also a doctor and a whole lot of other things. At first it was funny then it got irritating. Annie and I would just hope he would shut up and stop singing all the fucking time by day two. There was also another girl that hung herself but she was really all over the map mood-wise and was isolated the day I left. There were others there like Hank that had the IQ of about 60 that I didn’t ever seem to mind in his randomness and talking about loving the Muppets but theres seemed to not care of it.
I realize that 72 Hours does not seem that long but after one totally loses their freedom and their belt things start to matter fast. I was allowed to have my Nook and they even charged it for me at night so when I was not playing Gin I was reading; read two books and the New York Times all three days I was there. The real problem is one wakes up at 0600 and stays awake until 2200 and there is nothing to do but kill time all day. Boredom sets in real fast in a psych ward let me tell you. I really think Annie kept me sane for that whole time that just dragged on and on as if never going to end. I will write more later on this adventure so ends part one.