Monthly Archives: December 2013

To write or not to write….

I am still stunned by this whole situation with my ex-friend. There is so much I cannot talk about relating to this incident but suffice to say I just never saw this happening ever. I had known her for about eight years or so but the last almost two has been spent in absolute silence for reasons that I have blogged about so I will not get into it here again. Let’s just say she betrayed me in the worst way that someone can and from that point on I have refused to communicate with her but now things are a little different. I may be the last person she wants to hear from but in all reality I might be the only person that is thinking of bothering to contact her at all. I have certain conditions on this contact that again I cannot get into being this is still a pending case to be tried or least judged depending on where they go with the prosecution but that is really none of my business just the final verdict is.

 

I think the part that is bothering me the most is that I was very close to this person for so long and I was totally deceived by her one-hundred percent. I had rid myself of her once but I let her back into my life thinking that her career in the military would have changed her. As it turned out in all the news reports she never made it out of basic training so everything she told me was one huge fantasy lie of hers.I kind of knew this before I read that it just validated my feelings already with actual proof and not just me and others saying this or that is not possible. This statement really is what she was to me for all those years: a liar. I know that her letters are going to be filled with more lies and not a shred of the truth but should I just sit here and ignore her if her life winds up behind bars until she dies? That is a terrible fate to have not one person to talk to on the outside. I really don’t hate her for what she did to me, I have concluded that she is just too stupid to know any better. In all actuality she saved me from myself and my old terrible writing when she did what she maybe did or did not do but she had my poems already when this happened so yes that she totally stole because they where never returned. Most of that was written while I was homeless and mostly angry at the world and depressed over my situation so really what the fuck and I clinging to that shit storm for? I guess I figured I would never forget what it was like but even sitting here in my condo for over ten years thanks to my mother I remember every time I see a homeless person downtown. I will never forget those aimless roaming days and sometimes I even miss it but that is just me wanting to get out of Denver for a few days more then anything these days.

 

She also saved me by letting me know who my real friends are and who was not. I guess one of these days I might even thank her for the new life that I have that would not have been possible any other way. The one striking thing is that everyone said just about the same thing “Thank God it wasn’t you” or as in neighbors they gave me a hug too. Yes I am very aware it could have been me just as easily but it wasn’t and unless she gets released it never will be. You know that person that holds onto a grudge until they are in their grave? Yeah amplify this by about 100 and that is how she is with things. Maybe my alarm discouraged her or maybe she forgot all about me or maybe she is just laying in wait for the perfect time to strike who really fucking knows whats going on in her nuttier then squirrel shit head. So when she is in a more permanent home I will reach out and see if she responds if not I tried if so I will enjoy her lies and stories like I always did until she lied to my friends and family then I had to put a stop to it but really when it was just us her constant lying never really bothered me. I will say this: she gave me plenty of fodder for a story that I might title “Too many Mora’s” or something to that affect. I don’t know if anyone has any comments on this please leave them in Facebook and not on this blog site thanks…  

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